American Idol 2010 , As the first results show of the American Idol season 9 semifinals came to an end tonight, I couldn't help but feel like I'd just witnessed a horror flick. The pretty blonde girl got picked off early. Another vaguely defined character was introduced just in time to get dragged off into the bushes of anonymity. And at one point, a pack of two dozen zombies stalked the stage, bringing pre-recorded vocal terror to everyone they encountered.
American Idol 2010 - With Ryan Seacrest doing his best Jigsaw impression — ''a brutal night of results,'' he cooed, eyes burning with delight — all that was missing was the screaming. Wait, scratch that. I know I can't be the only one still experiencing intermittent flashbacks to Jermaine Sellers' wounded cockatoo impression on Wednesday night, can I?
Oh yeah, I went there. Because while there was probably a better chance of Simon using SPF on his crispy, honey-roasted chest than seeing Tyler Grady, Joe Muñoz, or Janell Wheeler at the Nokia in May, I'm still flummoxed by the fact that those three cats (along with Ashley Rodriguez) are paying the price for singing misdemeanors, while musical felons like Jermaine, Tim Urban, Alex Lambert, and Lacey Brown will live to threaten us again with (how can I state this in a politically correct fashion?) their ''creative selection of notes.'' Granted, those latter four contestants had respective magical forces on their sides on performance night — a bolero jacket with tails, Justin Bieber hair, a mullet, and a floral tablecloth body sheath — but it's still hard to accept how ''trainwreck awful'' is a better strategy than ''subpar and forgettable'' at any stage of the competition.
American Idol 2010 - With Ryan Seacrest doing his best Jigsaw impression — ''a brutal night of results,'' he cooed, eyes burning with delight — all that was missing was the screaming. Wait, scratch that. I know I can't be the only one still experiencing intermittent flashbacks to Jermaine Sellers' wounded cockatoo impression on Wednesday night, can I?
Oh yeah, I went there. Because while there was probably a better chance of Simon using SPF on his crispy, honey-roasted chest than seeing Tyler Grady, Joe Muñoz, or Janell Wheeler at the Nokia in May, I'm still flummoxed by the fact that those three cats (along with Ashley Rodriguez) are paying the price for singing misdemeanors, while musical felons like Jermaine, Tim Urban, Alex Lambert, and Lacey Brown will live to threaten us again with (how can I state this in a politically correct fashion?) their ''creative selection of notes.'' Granted, those latter four contestants had respective magical forces on their sides on performance night — a bolero jacket with tails, Justin Bieber hair, a mullet, and a floral tablecloth body sheath — but it's still hard to accept how ''trainwreck awful'' is a better strategy than ''subpar and forgettable'' at any stage of the competition.
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